Finding Christmas

I fumed as I pushed my cart through the crowded aisles of WalMart that Christmas Eve. So many people grabbing at things and shoving their way through was not my picture of how to welcome the Savior. I thought smugly that those other people were just missing the whole point of Christmas, and if I’d just been a little more organized, I wouldn’t be out here at the eleventh hour with them.

That thought brought me up short. Feeling superior wasn’t what Christmas was about, either. I slowed my cart, breathed deeply, and thought about how most of the world was busy and oblivious the night the Christ Child came, just like we seemed to be in WalMart that Christmas Eve. Hmm…if God were to choose a place around my hometown for the birth of the Holy Child, where might He choose? The stable of Bethlehem was the last place that we would have thought of, so ordinary, so mundane, so standard a part of that world that nothing about it seems to us to be special enough to house the Son of God.

And then, it hit me. It would probably be someplace like WalMart. An instant later, right there in those crowded aisles amid those precious people frantically cramming in their last bit of shopping, God’s great Gift arrived for me! Immanuel. God With Us. Right there in WalMart. Who would have thought it?

Where will the Gift find you this year?

“Yes, Virginia, There Is A Sanity Clause!”
Do you run yourself ragged during the holidays?
Do you wonder why you're doing it all anyway?
Do you want to streamline but can't decide how?
Do you ever dread spending time with the people you love?
Do you want this holiday season to be different?

Keep your balance, your sanity, your health and your relationships intact this year.
Know what you really want from your holiday celebrations and activities.
Create a season that matches what matters most to you.

Start with a picture of how you'd really like it to be. How would you describe it? Peaceful, relaxing, exciting, connecting, within-budget, spiritual...? What't the quality of the holiday season you want to create?

OK, now that you know where you want to go, let's look at where you're actually headed unless you make some new decisions.

What do you typically do during the holidays? Use the checklist that follows to get you started. Make a thorough list of all the holiday-related activities that you will most likely do - or feel guilty for not doing - unless you make some new choices. Have fun with this. Be easy with yourself!

___ Decorate inside and/or outside
___ Send cards
___ Write a Christmas letter
___ Put up a tree
___ Make a wish list
___ Make a gift list
___ Shop for gifts (estimate how many times you shop and how many gifts you buy)
___ Make gifts
___ Wrap gifts
___ Bake something special
___ Cook extra or special meals
___ Special holiday crafts
___ Attend parties (estimate how many)
___ Host parties or family gatherings (how many?)
___Travel
___ Worry about money
___ Schedule holiday get-togethers
___ Clean house
___ Have overnight or extended-stay visitors and family
___ Visit people you don’t see often
___ Drink more alcohol
___ Attend special church services
___ Attend holiday events (concerts, plays, pageants)
___ Be in Christmas parade, play, concert, ballet, etc
___ Drive around to see the lights
___ Take the children to see Santa
___ Get a family portrait made
___ Do service projects (how many?)
___ Scrapbook
___ Take pictures or videos
___ Send pictures/videos or post online
___ Change exercise habits
___ Change sleep habits
___ Change eating habits
___ Do things to earn extra money
___ Write blogs, journals or extra emails
___ Clean house after the holidays
___ Do extra or special devotionals, classes, services, etc
___ Watch specials on TV
___ Go to movies
___ Special seasonal activities caroling, outdoor skating, etc
___ Make special or year-end contributions
___ Pack away artificial tree or dispose of cut tree
___ Take down decorations (indoor/outdoor)
___ Return gifts
___ Shop the after-Christmas sales

See what matters most to you. Once you've got the list, see if you can rank them. Give the ones that are really important to you a 5, and the ones that matter least a 1. See what comes in at a 2, 3, or 4. Don't judge it. Just see what seems to matter more.

How does it line up? Now, go back over your list and see if the 4's and 5's are things that are likely to add up to the kind of holiday that you'd like to have. Will doing those things create the kind of spirit you're looking for this year? If not, could you do them in new ways that would be more in line with your intention?

You're on your way. OK. You are light years ahead of most people at this point just because you've spent some conscious thought and effort on how to create a holiday season that is saner and more satisfying for you.

In the next post, we'll have more for you. For now, enjoy your discoveries and start looking for ways to have moments and days that line up with your vision.

Strange Advice

I have an idea that is going to seem a little strange, or may make me sound kind of obsessive, but nevertheless, I believe it is good advice, and I invite you to try it for yourself and see! As we get just about as close to Christmas as we can get without it actually being Christmas, things seem to get a little more frantic, time slips away faster, and more tasks get left undone (at least in my world). My suggestion is to take some time at the end of each day, maybe with a mug of your favorite hot holiday beverage, and make a list of what went wrong that day. Yep, a list of what went wrong.

Why? Because now is the time to prepare for next year's celebrations. When we recognize the things that didn't flow well this year, we can make a note to change it for next year. If we wait until next year, we probably won't remember that something didn't work until it's too late.

For instance, each year some of my gifts are handmade. As you might imagine, it doesn't really work very well to begin crafting gifts in December! And as you also might imagine, in spring and summer, I'm not really thinking about making winter-time gifts. (Those of you who know me know that I'm thinking about the beach all year round!) But if I make myself a note and keep it in my calendar, on one of those rainy summer weekends when I can't be out napping in the hammock on my deck, I can work on some Christmas gifts in my craft room. And come next December, they will be all ready to wrap and give (provided I can remember where I hid them - perhaps another 'note to self' is in order here?)

Of course, it makes sense to keep a log of what went well and what you'd like to do again next year, too. Were the gingerbread cookies especially well received? Put them on the list to make next year. Did you have a Christmas CD that you loved listening to ? Make sure it gets on the list to be brought out right after Thanksgiving. My husband has a rule that no Christmas music can be played until after Thanksgiving. I happen to agree with him, but boy on Friday morning, I'm ready to roll out Josh Groban or Mannheim Steamroller!

So to review, create a ritual for yourself of making note of what you enjoy and look forward to each Christmas, and what you want to do differently next year. Then you're on your way to making your holidays less stressful and more meaningful. Blessings, Annie

Don't Miss this!

From my Being You, Being Us blog: "Every now and then, someone pulls together seemingly unrelated things, and an amazing alchemy of creation happens. My friend Kevin Meyer has done it this time. Among his many talents, Kevin is a leader of sacred circle dance, an avid reader, and a lover of music. And like many of us, he has been wrestling with the impact of the war in Iraq.

One day he picked up a copy of The Sandbox, Garry Trudeau's compilation of soldiers' posts from the front in Iraq and Afghanistan, and was deeply touched by their sometimes simple, sometimes eloquent words. While their messages were still resonating in him, he got the chance to be part of Circle Modern Dance's December program. And somehow, in the creative cauldron, a haunting lullaby surfaced in the mix. Kevin's creation is a dance performed to this achingly beautiful lullaby as posts from soldiers are read. I have not seen the dance, but I have heard the music and readings, and I can tell you it is one of the most moving things that I have experienced recently. There are no conclusions drawn, no assessments made. It is just the words of men and women living in harm's way juxtaposed with their mothers' lullabies.

If you can, please come to see the performance, which will be part of the Primitive Lights shows on December 20-22 at the Laurel Theater in Knoxville. Click here for ticket information. Thanks, Kevin for being creative and evoking us to be responsive to the world we are in.

Blessings!"

Are you ready for Christmas?

On December 7, I heard it for the first time. That question that we can't seem to help asking each other this time of year. "Are you ready for Christmas?"

My automatic response to the question has always been a litany of what I've done and not done on my get-ready-for-Christmas list. Yes, I proudly state, I have started my shopping. No, I hang my head a bit. I haven't got my tree up, finished the shopping, mailed the cards, taken baked goods to shut-ins, and the list can go on and on.

This year, the very first time I got the question, I had a new answer.

"Are you ready for Christmas, Marcia?"

"In what way? If you mean, have I done everything I'm going to do, then No. But if you mean mentally and spiritually, then Yes!" We had a great little talk then about the difference between being ready and having "it" done. I walked away from that conversation with more genuine excitement about the spiritual significance of the season and less worry about driving myself to get it all done.

So, are you ready for Christmas? If you're not, what would it take for you to be ready to open your heart to the blessings of love, peace, hope, and reconciliation? Probably not a mad dash to the mall. Maybe being quiet a few moments when you finish reading this. Maybe letting go of some of the flurry of activity. Maybe a few lungs-full of fresh air. Maybe listening to someone unburdening their heart or sharing their dreams. Chances are it is more in being instead of doing.

Be blessed!

Fun with a Purpose

Last week, I found myself really fretting over what to wear to my husband's office party. I even asked some of my friends for advise on what to do with my hair, which I've insisted on having in a shake-and-go style for years. Worrying about what to do with my hair was a big clue that something other than fashion angst was going on.

The truth is that I just didn't really want to go this year. Spending an evening in a loud room full of people that I really don't know just didn't sound appealing. And I am really enjoying doing what fits with my intentions about celebrating Christmas instead of just doing what's expected.

So, on the day of the party, I was faced with the choice of going along begrudgingly ala Scrooge or finding a compelling reason either to go with good grace or to opt out. I decided to play with the idea of going.

So, I asked myself, if you're going to go, what are your intentions or purposes for being there? (Pretty formal language, huh? It gets my attention when I talk to myself that way!)

Well, with just a few deep breaths and about a minute of reflection, I decided that I would go with the intentions of connecting with people and supporting my husband Mike. Connect with people and support Mike. Hmm, I thought. I can do that.

So, I stopped worrying about my hair and my outfit, met Mike at the office and headed out to the Hilton for the party. And guess what happened? All evening long, there were people who seemed so glad to see me. I was glad to see them, too. When the conversation at our table lagged, I asked a few questions, and we swapped tales about how we met our spouses, funny family memories and favorite Christmas traditions. I made it a point to speak to people, even if I don't know them much. In fact, when Mike was ready to go, he had to wait for me to finish a conversation and do the now-traditional rendition of the Electric Slide with a group of women. It's our third year running. And to think, I almost missed it.

You can play the intention game, too. You don't have to use the formal language, either. You can do what Brad Brown suggests in the Power of Purpose course. Just say, I will do this because... and spin out all the reasons that come to your heart and mind.

Let the games begin!

(By the way, I'll be teaching The Power of Purpose in Knoxville in February.)

Mindful observance

It doesn't really take a lot of time to observe the holidays in a meaningful way. It takes mindfulness.

I stumbled on this great truth my freshman year in college. Being home for a long weekend over Thanksgiving was great, but I had to go back to school for a jam-packed three weeks before celebrating Christmas with my family. There would be very little time for holiday stuff except for the Carol Service that I was in as a member of one of the campus choirs. The first day back, I found myself humming one of the carols all day. It calmed me, and filled me with the reverent anticipation that lighting the advent wreath at home did. The next day, I sang a different carol to myself, and the next, and about the fourth day, I decided to have a carol of the day every day of Advent. That year that I expected to be so dull and dispirited turned out to be a very special spiritual journey. It took no planning, no money, and no extra time in my day to focus on a different carol each day.

Well, more than 30 years later, I still have a carol of the day during Advent. For several years when the kids were still in school, I stuffed the name of a carol in each day's box on our advent calendar. So, every day, we pulled out the carol's name along with a few M&M's, and the whole family got in on my carol ritual. Most years, though, it has been my private observance with no planning at all ahead of time. In fact, it's fun to see which carol presents itself to me each morning.

So, what can you focus on each day to mark these holy-days?